Social distancing (and pandemic as a gift)
(Pandemic Diary - day 21)
From my journal: 19 March 2020 (Thursday)
Social distancing
We were to have two family visits this weekend, and now we won’t. First, we were to meet Renee’s family somewhere for a birthday meal for her dad on Saturday, and then we were going to Berlin on Sunday for a birthday party. Neither of those make sense now, and we’ve just told them we aren’t coming.
I’m pretty sure this is the right answer, especially from the standpoint of setting a responsible example. At the same time there’s this thought that at some point one of these opportunities will be the last one.
My Stoic orientation says this observation carries at least a hint of greed and dissatisfaction with the lot I’ve been given. There’s the potential for that, but I don’t think that’s really what I’m feeling here. I’m accepting of the fact that one of these times will be the last time (and indeed might already have been). What I hope is that I would treat each encounter I have as if it might be the last (pandemic or not), and that would be the best version of Stoicism, at least as I understand it.
I’m certain I fall short of that.
Pandemic as a gift
All that said, while I did want to do those visits, and I’ll miss the interactions, I’m not feeling that personally disturbed by social distancing. In fact it feels more like relief to me than hardship. It feels like I might be in that dream where there’s a pause button I can push to stop the rest of the world so I have a chance to catch up.
To be clear — I don’t want anyone to suffer, and if I could stop the pandemic I would.
But what we want is irrelevant. It is here, and this is how things are and will be. The only part of it we have direct control over is our response, how we choose to view and interact with our situation, the frame we use.
“The only part of it we have direct control over is our response”
I choose to frame it for myself as a great gift, this slowing of everything, this ideal situation in which I have the opportunity for large blocks of uninterrupted time, a period of weeks, if not months, in which it’s much easier than usual to fight fragmentation and disruption, to plunge into a project and take it to completion, and then move on to the next project and take that one to completion. Essentially, the pandemic is presenting me with that opportunity to catch up.
I don’t have to broadcast this view, and maybe I should try not to appear relieved at the cancellations and the general slowing, but I do want to amplify this to myself and do whatever I can to take full advantage of it — it’s a gift that might not come to me again.