Pandemic Diary

(a limited series)


This is a curated collection of lightly-edited excerpts from my daily journal. These are observations, my commentary on those observations, notes to myself, and other things I might want to remember about this period. It’s not everything (sorry — you don’t get to see everything), but it’s a lot.

It started as a pandemic-only collection, but I soon realized the picture would be artificial and incomplete if I didn’t include the context of cultural and racial and political tension that has been so intertwined with the pandemic, so those entries (and some others) are here now, too. And some life-as-usual, because despite everything, there really has been more of that than anything else.

Warning: politics ahead. I wrestled with this, and considered excluding the judgmental bits, and anything that might possibly offend anyone, but I decided to value honesty and disclosure over discretion. (More on that here: “Should I publish about politics?”) If this offends you, I’m sorry. But I call it as I see it.

This isn’t journalism. I’m aiming for personal understanding, not balance (see “Let me think about it”). And don’t expect coherence or continuity (that’s not my goal here)…


 
Squandering the pause
Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Squandering the pause

This pandemic is the closest thing to a pause button I’m ever likely to get, and it feels like I’m squandering it.

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Sleeping through the apocalypse

...most people have chosen a fairly rational and optimistic approach and attitude to it all. But there are other forces at work, too, and they’re not rational or benevolent.

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Ideas, options, and obligations

Infinite ideas, carefully selected options, few obligations, and most of those obligations owed to yourself alone — that is the recipe for a good life, I think.

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Differences

...maybe you attain that ideal state where you no longer note or even notice the differences, no longer think the adjectives... apply no label but “friend”

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Margins (personal and societal)

Maybe we’ll realize that the increased cushion, and the resiliency that comes with it, is worth sacrificing for. Most of us don’t have to live on the razor’s edge, we only choose to.

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Down (action)

Action begins movement, movement begets engagement, and engagement leads to refinements to the action so it can become more and more the right movement, the right action…

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Roadrunning with Vivaldi
Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Roadrunning with Vivaldi

Roadrunning with Vivaldi — an accident that made this very ordinary run feel both epic and elegant (who would have thought?)

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Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Stress

…there’s intense business stress, and now this added stress of waiting to see if her parents will make it through the waiting period after their exposure…

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Small victories
Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

Small victories

We should watch for and grab our small victories when we find them (even if they're only statistical)... Today's little trot around Scotia gamelands with my girls was enough to give me…

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It's not all darkness
Jeff Calvert Jeff Calvert

It's not all darkness

We just had a flash rain storm, and now the sun has come out and the bare branches of the trees behind the house are glistening as if they were coated with ice.

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