Pandemic Diary
(a limited series)
This is a curated collection of lightly-edited excerpts from my daily journal. These are observations, my commentary on those observations, notes to myself, and other things I might want to remember about this period. It’s not everything (sorry — you don’t get to see everything), but it’s a lot.
It started as a pandemic-only collection, but I soon realized the picture would be artificial and incomplete if I didn’t include the context of cultural and racial and political tension that has been so intertwined with the pandemic, so those entries (and some others) are here now, too. And some life-as-usual, because despite everything, there really has been more of that than anything else.
Warning: politics ahead. I wrestled with this, and considered excluding the judgmental bits, and anything that might possibly offend anyone, but I decided to value honesty and disclosure over discretion. (More on that here: “Should I publish about politics?”) If this offends you, I’m sorry. But I call it as I see it.
This isn’t journalism. I’m aiming for personal understanding, not balance (see “Let me think about it”). And don’t expect coherence or continuity (that’s not my goal here)…
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February 2020
- Feb 28, 2020 This coronavirus thing Feb 28, 2020
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March 2020
- Mar 8, 2020 Late-night writing (is it worth getting up?) Mar 8, 2020
- Mar 8, 2020 Scotia (the Barrens) with Scotia (the dog) Mar 8, 2020
- Mar 11, 2020 We’re overreacting (but we’re prepping) Mar 11, 2020
- Mar 12, 2020 Pushing our luck Mar 12, 2020
- Mar 13, 2020 Pandemic diary Mar 13, 2020
- Mar 16, 2020 Get back to work Mar 16, 2020
- Mar 18, 2020 Believing in the pandemic Mar 18, 2020
- Mar 18, 2020 What happens next? Mar 18, 2020
- Mar 19, 2020 Social distancing (and pandemic as a gift) Mar 19, 2020
- Mar 20, 2020 Long-haul pandemic Mar 20, 2020
- Mar 20, 2020 Pandemic ideas Mar 20, 2020
- Mar 21, 2020 Pandemic generation Mar 21, 2020
- Mar 21, 2020 Pandemic yes, but... Mar 21, 2020
- Mar 22, 2020 Escapism Mar 22, 2020
- Mar 23, 2020 Yesterday’s run (and pandemic opportunity) Mar 23, 2020
- Mar 24, 2020 All good here Mar 24, 2020
- Mar 24, 2020 Addicted to the pandemic Mar 24, 2020
- Mar 27, 2020 Pop the Silo Mar 27, 2020
- Mar 28, 2020 Watchful waiting Mar 28, 2020
- Mar 30, 2020 ES100 board meeting Mar 30, 2020
- Mar 31, 2020 Critical pieces I don't control Mar 31, 2020
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April 2020
- Apr 1, 2020 It's not all darkness Apr 1, 2020
- Apr 4, 2020 A death, masks (and the cactus doesn’t care) Apr 4, 2020
- Apr 5, 2020 Small victories Apr 5, 2020
- Apr 6, 2020 Stress Apr 6, 2020
- Apr 7, 2020 Roadrunning with Vivaldi Apr 7, 2020
- Apr 10, 2020 Discord in the air (spring is coming) Apr 10, 2020
- Apr 15, 2020 Down (action) Apr 15, 2020
- Apr 16, 2020 Margins (personal and societal) Apr 16, 2020
- Apr 17, 2020 Snowy Toftrees run Apr 17, 2020
- Apr 17, 2020 Differences Apr 17, 2020
- Apr 18, 2020 Ideas, options, and obligations Apr 18, 2020
- Apr 19, 2020 Sleeping through the apocalypse Apr 19, 2020
- Apr 20, 2020 Tow Hill ore pits (family run) Apr 20, 2020
- Apr 23, 2020 Scotia and the chipmunk Apr 23, 2020
- Apr 27, 2020 Gettis Ridge Road (family run) Apr 27, 2020
- Apr 28, 2020 Squandering the pause Apr 28, 2020
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May 2020
- May 8, 2020 Adversity runs (have I graduated?) May 8, 2020
- May 9, 2020 Polar vortex May 9, 2020
- May 13, 2020 Spring wins May 13, 2020
- May 19, 2020 How many weeks in a lifetime? May 19, 2020
- May 19, 2020 We’re obligate symbionts May 19, 2020
- May 25, 2020 No-mow May (and a cottony day in Scotia) May 25, 2020
- May 31, 2020 Protests (vicarious) May 31, 2020
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June 2020
- Jun 2, 2020 Fewer but better Jun 2, 2020
- Jun 2, 2020 Let me think about it Jun 2, 2020
- Jun 2, 2020 Build something Jun 2, 2020
- Jun 3, 2020 News and fantasies Jun 3, 2020
- Jun 5, 2020 A thousand days (it's a start) Jun 5, 2020
- Jun 10, 2020 Eastern States 100 cancellation Jun 10, 2020
- Jun 13, 2020 Inspirational reading Jun 13, 2020
- Jun 21, 2020 Safe(ish) dinner out Jun 21, 2020
- Jun 27, 2020 Saturday night at our house Jun 27, 2020
- Jun 28, 2020 Little Flat mountain laurel on a warm day (family run) Jun 28, 2020
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July 2020
- Jul 5, 2020 Ridge-and-jungle (family run) Jul 5, 2020
- Jul 10, 2020 Taxes Jul 10, 2020
- Jul 12, 2020 Emotional Jul 12, 2020
- Jul 14, 2020 Big Hollow branches (and the fearless young bucks) Jul 14, 2020
- Jul 18, 2020 Rhododendron blossoms in Roaring Run Jul 18, 2020
- Jul 20, 2020 Pacing an FKT on the MST Jul 20, 2020
- Jul 24, 2020 Reunion Jul 24, 2020
- Jul 26, 2020 Rock dancing on Stone Mountain (Standing Stone Trail) Jul 26, 2020
- Jul 27, 2020 Doom scrolling Jul 27, 2020
- Jul 28, 2020 Curing our sports addiction Jul 28, 2020
- Jul 30, 2020 Reunion AAR Jul 30, 2020
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August 2020
- Aug 2, 2020 When a run comes together Aug 2, 2020
- Aug 3, 2020 Pandemic life (and sunset Quarter Horses) Aug 3, 2020
- Aug 6, 2020 ES100 Race Day message Aug 6, 2020
- Aug 13, 2020 Serendipity (the right book at the right time) Aug 13, 2020
- Aug 14, 2020 Things turn around Aug 14, 2020
- Aug 16, 2020 Sunday (family) runday Aug 16, 2020
- Aug 18, 2020 Query (Eat Clean, Run Dirty) Aug 18, 2020
- Aug 19, 2020 The “second sunrise” why Aug 19, 2020
- Aug 22, 2020 Mornings at our place Aug 22, 2020
- Aug 27, 2020 Daydreaming (a different meditation) Aug 27, 2020
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September 2020
- Sep 6, 2020 Blue Knob and Berlin (yesterday’s trip) Sep 6, 2020
- Sep 9, 2020 Proud of my Soldiers Sep 9, 2020
- Sep 11, 2020 Different tracks Sep 11, 2020
- Sep 13, 2020 Lessons from a run Sep 13, 2020
- Sep 15, 2020 Holiday travel notes Sep 15, 2020
- Sep 23, 2020 Trumpsterism and football metaphors Sep 23, 2020
- Sep 25, 2020 Flagging Worlds End Ultra (and my first 911 call) Sep 25, 2020
- Sep 27, 2020 Thoughts from “Pale Horse, Pale Rider” Sep 27, 2020
- Sep 27, 2020 Sunday nights at our place Sep 27, 2020
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October 2020
- Oct 2, 2020 Am I a terrible person? Oct 2, 2020
- Oct 3, 2020 Am I a terrible person? (continued) Oct 3, 2020
- Oct 5, 2020 Should I publish about politics? Oct 5, 2020
- Oct 14, 2020 Trail race: No Business 100 Oct 14, 2020
- Oct 21, 2020 Agreeing to disagree Oct 21, 2020
- Oct 22, 2020 Home office Oct 22, 2020
- Oct 30, 2020 Optimism (we have the youth) Oct 30, 2020
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November 2020
- Nov 1, 2020 Politics (caring deeply) Nov 1, 2020
- Nov 1, 2020 Surreal Beaver Stadium (blue-moon night run) Nov 1, 2020
- Nov 2, 2020 My running whys Nov 2, 2020
- Nov 3, 2020 Election Day Nov 3, 2020
- Nov 5, 2020 Election update Nov 5, 2020
- Nov 6, 2020 Election update and a C19 positive Nov 6, 2020
- Nov 7, 2020 Clawing our way back to normalcy Nov 7, 2020
- Nov 7, 2020 Victory(!) (and how we celebrated) Nov 7, 2020
- Nov 8, 2020 Half?!? (Not really) Nov 8, 2020
- Nov 15, 2020 Apophenia (Queen’s Gambit and QAnon) Nov 15, 2020
- Nov 26, 2020 Thanksgiving Nov 26, 2020
- Nov 30, 2020 My 30,000th mile Nov 30, 2020
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December 2020
- Dec 5, 2020 Digital Waldenponding (and my reading strategy) Dec 5, 2020
- Dec 13, 2020 Post-Hellgate Vacation Dec 13, 2020
- Dec 15, 2020 Post-Hellgate hot tub (surreal) Dec 15, 2020
- Dec 16, 2020 Winter is coming Dec 16, 2020
- Dec 17, 2020 In common with Kilian Dec 17, 2020
- Dec 18, 2020 Welcome-home snow Dec 18, 2020
- Dec 24, 2020 Christmas Eve post Dec 24, 2020
- Dec 25, 2020 Nailing it (perfectionism) Dec 25, 2020
- Dec 26, 2020 Idea work Dec 26, 2020
- Dec 31, 2020 New Year’s Eve Dec 31, 2020
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January 2021
- Jan 1, 2021 New year, same old me Jan 1, 2021
- Jan 2, 2021 Pandemic dreams Jan 2, 2021
Election Day
It feels like the past 4 years have all been leading directly to this day, and the anticipation (and dread) is almost paralyzing.
My running whys
Wars, separation, pandemics, elections, life, death… I run my way through all of it. Why?
Surreal Beaver Stadium (blue-moon night run)
a Penn State night game under a Halloween full moon/blue moon.... campus was nearly empty, and nearly silent, and Beaver stadium glowed like a phantom Flying Dutchman…
Politics (caring deeply)
I view a person’s political alignment... as an indicator of their principles and basic morality, their ability to think clearly, and their judgment.
Optimism (we have the youth)
What possible conversation... between a zealot of the Old Way and a Zoomer, where that kid becomes convinced they should start caring one way or the other about... sexual orientation...?
Home office
I do some of my best work here
Agreeing to disagree
...one is a Biden family and the other is a Trump family. And yet they’ve found a way to get along. It’s heartwarming on the surface — that’s what we all want, right?
Trail race: No Business 100
Hitting the trails of Big South Fork NRRA through TN and KY tomorrow for a hundred miles or so. Weather looks perfect, scenery is sublime, company will be sparse but of the highest caliber
Should I publish about politics?
...silence is functionally equivalent to acceptance and consent... it’s wrong to construct some arbitrary barrier... But... I’m a nice person who doesn’t want to needlessly offend anyone…
Am I a terrible person? (continued)
...most of us have at some point in our lives been sucked-in by a shyster, fallen under the spell of some kind of false prophet who told us what we wanted to hear.
Am I a terrible person?
I feel no empathy for this man. There’s a tiny touch of sympathy, an abundance of pity, but it mainly feels like the wheels of universal justice have finally started turning…
Sunday nights at our place
Campfire season.
Thoughts from “Pale Horse, Pale Rider”
...we began to think it was inevitable... Fascism is real, George Orwell was a prophet, and maybe the primacy of democracy and human rights isn’t inevitable.
Flagging Worlds End Ultra (and my first 911 call)
...there was a fire pit someone had dug, and apparently they hadn’t put their fire completely out, because it was still burning down in the duff and the roots, spreading.
Trumpsterism and football metaphors
Steelers don’t dance in the end zone, and there’s no name on a Penn State uniform. That’s the football-based identity I grew up with... integral to that feeling of Allegheny exceptionalism…
Holiday travel notes
The complex calculus of risk assessment. What is the possibility that the virus is present? What is the likelihood that you’ll catch it if it’s present? Are you going to make your decision…
Lessons from a run
…good lessons, and much better to have a reminder of them now... The real trick, though, is to remember the lesson in the first place and stop making the mistakes…
Different tracks
Our philosophies and religions are those placeholders, constructed pacifiers for us to suck on as we sooth ourselves against the torment of our ability to ask questions we cannot answer.
Proud of my Soldiers
They may not have been particularly clean or well-mannered, but they could shoot straight, and they showed up even when their bone spurs were sore…
Blue Knob and Berlin (yesterday’s trip)
the strangeness of wearing a mask when no one else was, and the way some of them didn’t seem to even know how to handle that. It was strange, awkward... surreal.